ANN ARBOR– Defenseman Mark Woods inadvertently set back US-Canadian relations by several weeks with an errant comment following a check that sent him to the ice, hitting his head in Ruination’s 6-1 win over Depot Town Stags Tuesday night. “All I said was that I was hoping to get honorary Canadian status,” said Woods in a daze. “You know, for being tough, taking a hit, and getting back up.”
Errant comment made Tuesday night set relations back between the two countries, requiring several cases of Labatt Blue Beer to ease tensions
Unfortunately, the comment was made moments after he had joked that he was essentially uninjured because there was “nothing much there” in his head to injure.
“Thanks a lot,” said fellow defenseman Aleem Hasham, a Calgary native.
Hasham was able to laugh it off, however, attributing it to Woods’s “head injury,” but officials from both countries said that relations between the two nations had been set back “at least three weeks.”
“Just when you think we’re about to build lasting relations between Canada and the U.S., some bone head like Woods has to go and say something stupid,” said goodwill ambassador Brett Hull, NHL Hall-of-Fame player who shares dual citizenship.
Added Hull: “If Woods wasn’t such an amazing skater, this would be a complete disaster.”
Relations between the two countries have been tense ever sense the so-called South Park Doctrine was instituted in 1999. The U.S., however, has maintained that the doctrine has been justified with Canada’s unleashing of Justin Bieber onto unsuspecting Americans.
At last report, both parties were able to agree that Tim Horton’s coffee was “delicious,” and negotiations were said to have resumed.
Kyle Polack had two goals, while Matt Schaefer, Ricky Winowiecki, Chris Sutton, and Sean Hazaray each had scores in the Ruination victory.