GM’s New Quiet Life of Painting

20151212_192841PORTLAND, MN– Citing the “stress managing a storied franchise,” GM Mark Woods stepped down from the helm prior to the Fall season, opting for a contemplative life on the shores of Maine, where he now spends his time pursuing the arts.

“I like to paint… ever since I was a kid,” said Woods over the wind and crashing waves, brushing calmly onto the canvas. “I finally get to do that.”

Critics and fans have wondered if Woods stepped down amid pressure from the media following a disappointing series of campaigns following back-to-back championships in 2014. Said Woods with a slight Maine accent when asked the question: “Oh, I don’t think folks care much what happens with or without a General Manager. Besides, painting lighthouses is much more fulfilling. Occupies the hands and the mind.”

Woods did note that he was “happy to hear” that Hopslam defeated Gates 7-4 Saturday to earn a semi-final match-up with Sasquatch. Matt DeMerle and Jum Socha each had two goals, while Ryan Williams, Chris Sutton, and Zach DeGeorge also added scores.

Woods wished them well, but said his new life of painting was far more rewarding. “I reckon I can get anywhere from $10-25 selling these paintings on eBay.”

Added Woods: “eBay is still around, right?”