ANN ARBOR– Hopslam newcomers Brendan Kennedy, Leo Betz, and Griffen Munzel were subjected to “Forrest Gump” hazing in Tuesday’s 2-2 tie with the Yaks. “This line’s taken,” said an unnamed grubby Alabama schoolboy, possibly Bobby Boy Brock.
“Taken,” said another oddly flinty-eyed child whom sources suggest may have been center Chris Sutton.
“You can’t skate here!” said what sounded like a New England-accented boy, perhaps Greg Povenski.
A bit crestfallen and uncertain, the trio found each other on a line together that produced one of the two goals for the evening (Betz). “I had a blast playing,” said Betz, putting a positive spin on an otherwise difficult evening.
Kennedy and Munzel chimed in, noting that they were happy to be on a line together. “We’re the new guys line!” said Munzel, noting that he and his new teammates may start a burger chain with a similar name.
“Mama always said hockey’s like a bag of hot dog buns,” said GM Mark Woods. “Filled with doughy, white breads just lyin’ there doing a bunch of nothing.”
Woods noted that “Mama” never actually watched hockey, and was clearly a “touch racist, bein’ from Alabama and all.”
Sutton scored the first goal.