Colwell Vows to Dismantle Aventinus, Coleman

ANN ARBOR– Following the 5-2 Aventinus win over the Flyers Sunday night, league director Abe Colwell, skating in disguise as winger Guy N. Cognito, announced that he now has enough evidence to “bring Aventinus down.”

“Daryl Coleman has been sandbagging for years,” said Colwell in a press conference. “After tonight, we can see that he clearly belongs in the top league, maybe playing for the (Colorado) Avalanche, or the (Anaheim) Ducks.”

Added Colewell: “No one scores two goals in this league… not on my watch.”

Coleman’s two goals represent the first time since “I don’t know when” he scored two goals. GM Mark Woods tried to downplay the goals in an effort to keep Coleman on the team. “If you count the Colemans on the team, that’s really only like two thirds of a goal scored per Coleman. Why is this an issue?”

Coleman was humble, giving credit to his brother Ron and Ken, and his other brother Daryl.

Not to be outdone, older brother Ken Coleman vowed to get “even more” penalty minutes.

Tom Colis, Bruce Conner, and Jim Rooney each added a goal, while Steve Gorham added two assists.