Playing hockey slips in the polls Sunday after a stunning forfeiture by Hopslam
ANN ARBOR– A recent Pew Research Center poll showed “playing hockey” dropped slightly in the rankings Sunday following Hopslam’s Saturday night forfeiture to Sasquatch. “Playing hockey ain’t what she used to be,” sang several older men with hockey jerseys stained with beer and what appeared to be gravy.
Playing hockey was ranked 4th according to Pew researchers, but fell to fifth, just below “Not Playing Hockey.”
The news doesn’t come as a surprise, as insiders have noted that Hopslam statistician Caleb ‘Cal’ Culate has been “decidedly less stressed” this season. “We non’t score, we non’t pass assist, and we non’t show up for game. Only seven. Maybe eight!” said Culate.
Research scientist Pepe L’Pew III of the Pew Research Center noted that “Hockey is great, but sometimes not playing hockey is also not too shabby.”
Added L’Pew: “Une smelly vous finez.”
At last count, the polls still have “Looking for New Job,” “Asking Friends if They Know of Any Jobs Available for Research Analyst-type People in General,” and “Subtly Injecting the Morbidity of Current Job” as the top three “Things to Do.”
Ranked tenth for the ninth straight week was “Running with Arms Extended While Making Airplane Noises.”