ANN ARBOR– GM Mark Woods stated Wednesday from his palatial estate in San Bernardino, CA that he was “quite confused” as to the recent 2-game slide for Ruination following their 6-9 loss to Mott C. “I got guys floating in and out all the time. I’m not sure why the chemistry hasn’t clicked.”
Added Woods: “It’s almost as if a different team shows up every game.”
Critics and fan have often blamed Woods for his hands-off approach, allegedly taking team revenue to build his 15-room home in California. Woods has also been known to employ the use of questionable players, such as defenseman Mark Woods, known for his ability to dress for games mostly on time.
“I can pretty much skate backwards and forwards,” stated the journeyman defenseman, who ironically did not dress for the Mott C game.
Said GM Woods: “Look, blame it on the new guy, Mike Marino (goal, assist). He brought in cheap beer. How can you win when you’re skating for cheap beer?”
Marino later stated he was acting on orders from the General Manager. “He said something about giving or not giving a Schlitz,” opined Marino. “What was I supposed to do?”
Ruination hopes to bounce back Saturday against the Alpha Kings. Seven players are set to play, though it has not been revealed exactly who they are as of this posting.