Riley Making Good on Guarantee

Riley skated off the ice Tuesday signing to the crowd “Number 1” following Hopslam’s 5-2 win as part of his guarantee of a championship this season.

ANN ARBOR– Hopslam continued its winning streak Tuesday in its 5-2 win over the Yaks,¬†adding legitmacy to defenseman Alex Riley’s surprising guarantee of a championship this season. “I am personally guaranteeing a championship this season,” Riley boldly stated upon returning to Hopslam after a two-season hiatus, when he reportedly went on a “spirit-quest” in the Andes Mountains.

Rejuvenated and re-centered, Riley signed with Hopslam for the league minimum, claiming that his play will “dictate his pay.”

Stated GM Mark Woods: “He’ll pay the same rate as everyone else. $400 for full time, $250 for part-time.”

Part of the renewed energy on the team includes the re-signing of Zach DeGeorge, who was part of a blockbuster trade with Germany’s Leipzig Leibnizes (the Fighting Philosophers) for Marcus Niemand.

“Das ist ein outrage!” said Niemand.

DeGeorge has scored four goals and two assists in two games. Brendan Kennedy also added two goals in the win over the Yaks. Riley did not score, but helped to keep the Yaks to just two goals. Said GM Hans Offadem: “I try to stay out of it. If he wants to guarantee a championship, I say okay.”