International Recruiting Efforts Paying Off

THE HAGUE– Following Ruination’s 6-2 win over the Ypsi Aces Tuesday night, GM Mark Woods, speaking from his office in the The Netherlands, expressed satisfaction with the franchise’s recent “international efforts” to recruit hidden talent.

The Belarus national team listens intently to coaching tips in the hopes of one day being recruited to play in the Ann Arbor C-league.

“We were very encouraged when we brought in Rico (Winowiecko) from Los Del Rios,” said Woods, mistakenly taking the name of a Spanish singing duo for a town in Mexico, presumably where Winowiecko was recruited.

Ruination brought back a mix of the old and the new, including two-sport athlete Ricky Winowiecki (hockey, Quidditch) and Mike Marino, who each notched 2 goals and an assist. New players included international stars Connor Jennings (assist) and Ben Grover (assist), both from the United Kingdom, and Slava Yuhasz (assist), who hails from Belarus.

Ypsi Aces GM Thurston “Ace” Hoal stated plans to begin reaching out for international recruits in an effort to compete. “We have a guy from Thailand named Pad Puk who is going to spice things up. You’ll see!”

Added Hoal: “He’s going to be Pho-nomenal!”