Hopslam Gets Yakked Up

Hopslam (2-4-1) looked strong in the first two periods, but fell apart as they lost 3-6 to league rival Yaks late Saturday night. The team raced out to a 3-1 lead with goals from Al Juback, Jaron Byrd, and Mike Leighton, but a few bad plays and some unlucky bounces led to a nightmarish third period as the Yaks scored five unanswered goals.

Goaltender Paul Sholtis played well despite what the score might indicate, but was a bit shaken after the game. “You’ll have to develop a thicker skin,” urged Leighton, noting that some games will be better than others.

“Especially playing with us,” added forward Bob Brock.

Defenseman Mark Woods was at a loss for words. “We’ve followed our trainer’s regimen faithfully. I don’t understand.”

The regimen, sources revealed, consists of a steady wheat, barley, and hops diet before and after games to replenish lost carbohydrates and calories.

When asked about the matter, center Scott Coates became defensive, blaming management for negligence. He insinuated that Ashleyshockey.com receives too much attention. “It’s just some stupid website that Mark Woods runs,” said Coates.

“Don’t tell him I said that,” he added.

One bright spot tonight included newly-acquired forward Jim Socha, who had two assists for the evening.