BFFs Don’t Let Game Interfere with Texting

Super fans Kaitlyn Dell and Madison “Maddy” Scapani were treated to a 3-0 Ruination (7-3-1) win over Goon Squad Tuesday night at Stadium Ice. Armed with iPhones and Ugg boots, here’s what they had to say to Ashley’s Hockey News about the game:

Kaitlyn: Get this. So, like my friend Taylor was saying that she’s totes into Tyler Ripken, and I was like, soooo gross! And she was all “What?” and I was like Tyler isn’t even cute, and anyway, he’s like all up in with that slut bag Brianna who is like super shady, you know?

Maddy: She’s so shady.

Kaitlyn: Right?

Maddy: I know, right?

Kaitlyn: Right?

Ashleys’ Hockey: How about the game? Any thoughts?

Kaitlyn: Yeah, it was totally off the hook! They like skated…? And like shot…? Pucks and stuff…? Anyways. It was dope.

Maddy: Katy, no one says “off the hook”  or “dope” anymore!

Kaitlyn: Whatevs!

Ashley’s Hockey: Jason Spence had a goal and two assists for the evening.

Kaitlyn: (Texting) Yeah.

Maddy: Wait. Which one was he?

Ashley’s Hockey: Did you see Steve Pouliot’s empty net goal that sealed the win? Or Rusty Barron’s shutout performance?

Kaitlyn: Yeah, totally.

Maddy: Totally. Totally saw it. (Texting)

Kaitlyn: He was skating fast and like burned that goalie guy or whatever.

Ashley’s Hockey: What was the highlight of the game for you?

Kaitlyn: Well, I think the highest light was the one over our heads.

Maddy: Yeah, they were bright.

Kaitlyn: Right?

Maddy: That rhymes, be two dubs!

Kaitlyn: I know, right? I’m totally acing Ms. Connolly’s English class.

Maddy: Hold on. My mom’s texting me. She thinks I’m at a sleepover at Danielle’s.

Kaitlyn: Ew. Why?

Maddy: Shut up! Her brother is really cute!

Kaitlyn: And really old. He’s like twenty, Madison.

Maddy: So, your boyfriend’s like nineteen.

Kaitlyn: Yeah. It’s called being mature. Plus, he just played the Red Wings and like totally beat them.

Ashley’s Hockey: Goon Squad actually lost to Ashley’s Ruination. 

Kaitlyn: Wait, what?