Following another frustrating loss 1-3 Wednesday for Aventinus (2-7-1), the team found itself searching for answers.
“We were actually ahead 1-0 in that game,” said forward Ginny Klinesteker.
“We got a ton of shots on goal, but couldn’t score,” said defenseman Ron Coleman.
Management also assessed the game, and the season. “We aren’t scoring a lot of goals,” said GM Mark Woods. “Consequently, we aren’t winning a lot of games.”
“I think if we score a more goals while holding teams to fewer goals, we would win more games,” Woods added.
The General Manager’s assessment was hailed by many– including Washington economists and members of Congress– as “incisive” and “unerringly accurate.” Rumors have circulated that Woods may be offered a position as the Secretary of the Treasury.
When asked, Woods stated that he would call for a more balanced budget. “If we spend less than what we take in, we could probably reduce the deficit and stuff,” he noted.
In true Beltway fashion, Woods ignored follow-up questions on exactly how he would implement a plan to increase scoring or reduce spending, sparking calls for him to campaign for president in the 2016 election.