Jennings Mistakes Toronado for Tornado

ANN ARBOR– Winger Kyle Jennings wondered if Ruination’s opener with Bull Schlitz Tuesday night would be cancelled after reports of a tornado was spotted. “Are the games still on?” he asked.

Although heavy rains ripped through Southeastern Michigan early Tuesday night, making conditions somewhat dangerous for travel, sources later revealed that what Jennings, in fact, saw was a late 1960s Oldsmobile Toronado. Experts still agree that Jennings was correct in wondering if games would still be cancelled. “Do you know how much exhaust that thing cranks out?” asked Dr. T. Ree-Huggins, climatologist at the Ann Arbor Anne A. Arbore Arboretum. “They took like five of them off the road in the late 90s in Los Angeles and that alone cleared up the smog.”

Oldsmobile is a brand that only old people remember.

Goaltender Jacob Keefer admitted to having “drove through” the Toronado’s exhaust fumes to get to the rink, which he noted may have been a factor in allowing three goals in an otherwise easy 8-3 win over Bull Schlitz.

GM officials had no comment, though one junior executive, a recent college graduate, asked, “What’s a Toronado? What’s Oldsmobile for that matter?”