Tensions Rise in Front Office Over Ruination’s Unbeaten Status

ANN ARBOR– Following Ruination’s 7-1 Saturday win over then-undefeated Yaks C, controversy broke put in the front office during the press conference when Ruination’s status as either undefeated or unbeaten came to the fore.

“We’re undefeated!” exulted COO Chris Sutton.

GM Mark Woods noted that the team has a tie, and therefore would be categorized as unbeaten rather than undefeated. “Undefeated implies that you’ve outright won all of your games,” Woods noted.

GM Woods and COO Sutton clash over numerous polarizing topic, including Coke v Pepsi, MASH v Not watching TV at all, and Backstreet Boys v N’Sync.

“Nuh uh!” shot back Sutton, who graduated Suma Cum Laude from Harvard. “No one has defeated us, therefore we are undefeated.”

“Yah huh!” opined Woods, who received his doctorate in Mass Communication from Michigan State University.

The argument eventually devolved into whether or not Miller Lite “tasted great” or was “less filling.”