Artie Pulls Out Stick from Ice Cube, Ascends Throne

ANN ARBOR– Calling this a “special” moment for Art Rautenberg, otherwise known as King Arthur III, abdicated his throne after son Artie successfully pulled out a hockey stick from a large block of ice, known as the Ann Arbor Ice Cube, thus proving himself to be the prophesied king of Washtenaw County.

According to local legend, anyone who could pull the hockey stick from the Cube would be crowned king. Many have tried, and many were successful, particularly in the summer time, but no one “seemed” worthy, as judged by the king. “I don’t know,” said Arthur III. “Artie just seems like the right guy for the job. And after he performed that amazing feat, I just knew he would be king.”

Artie, now King Arthur IV, said he was looking forward to his reign. In fact, he had already set into law several edicts, including a ban on all girls from his high school graduating class, specifically “that dumb b**** Madison, I hate her so much.”

Arthur III, now just known as Art, said he planned to spend his retirement years in a small hamlet called Northville “throwing gold coins at the peasant, and maybe sailing on the lake here and there.”