Hopslam Dog Owners, Sniff Out Conspiracy

Hopslam (5-6-2) defeated the Ice Dogs 3-0 Tuesday night on Stadium Ice, putting together its first back-to-back victories of the season. The team marched through the game methodically, scoring a goal each period to secure the win, starting with forward Bob Brock, who punched one through late in the first.

Shawn Lopez stopped everything, including several breakaway chances in the second and third period. The only thing he didn’t do was score.

“I tried passing it to (defenseman Mark Woods) for a breakout,” said Lopez. “But, he just kinda stood there.”

Woods, when asked about the play, said, “I thought I was moving.”

Al Juback added a power play goal to open the second period, while the team settled in defensively. Winger Mike Leighton tossed in an empty-netter to end any chance of a comeback for the Dogs.

“I can’t believe they didn’t give me an assist on that third goal,” said Ontario native Scott Coates. “Jaske (the referee) has a vendetta against me.”

Forward Jeff Price, long thought to be a member of the Brotherhood of Referees Against Canadians (BORAC), denied the allegations. “He doesn’t even know you,” said Price to Coates.

Price had nothing further to say on the matter.