No Sport Coates Required at Cubs AC

Hopslam (7-7-2) returned to .500 with a stunning 2-0 upset of the first place Cubs AC (9-5-2) Saturday night on Olympic Ice.

“That’s the first time in two seasons we’ve been shut out,” a Cubs player was overheard saying.

The victory comes without several key players, including center Scott Coates, who, according to Facebook, was in San Francisco, California on a good will tour. He was last spotted at the Puerto Alegre Restaurant at 1:34am local time, noting that he was “eating and drinking, finally.”

Defenseman Al Juback opened the first with a power play goal, as Hopslam held Cubs in check. “The teams seem to have slowed down,” said defenseman Steve Gorham of both teams starting the third period.

“When Cubs stepped up to make a push, we stepped right up with them,” said winger Tom Colis. “I loved that.”

In the waning minutes of the game, Hopslam repelled several rushes by Cubs and made a couple of their own. Forward Gary Witt, known for his advice on backhand shots, brushed one past the goalie, sealing the win. The puck was unharmed.

“That scrum seemed to last forever,” said Mike Leighton. Leighton was referring to the mild wrestling match that ensued when it was discovered that there was only one remaining beer in the cooler. Forward Bob Brock reportedly came away with it.