Ashley’s Ruination ironically need to retain legal services and literally needed medical attention after getting beaten Thursday night 0-6 by the Ambulance Chasers. Devin Collingridge received a nasty gash from a stray puck to the face in the second period. Said team doctor Jason Spence regarding the injury: “I suspect he will have a few stitches.”
However, it was no laughing matter as the Chasers jumped out to a 3-0 lead early. The team settled down in the second, getting a few good scoring chances. “I certainly should have scored,” said forward Phil Schiller. “We had a couple of really nice plays only to get stuffed by their excellent goaltender (Shawn Lopez).”
“I was hopeful that we were going to be the ‘Miracle on Ice,’ but it just never happened!” added Schiller.
Despite showing vital signs of life, Ruination wasn’t able to hold off the pressure, giving up three more goals in the third. “I wasn’t expecting a ‘Miracle on Ice’ out there,” said Steve Pouliot.
Unfortunately, as the game footage shows, the team were far too tangled up to perform a miracle, though they did dare to dream.
Opinions varied. “Either way, it was a fun game,” said John “Call Sam” Vella, who volunteered to represent Ruination in the pending hit-and-run case.
Others had a more esoteric analysis. “I (bleeping) hate to lose!” a player was overheard saying. “(Bleep) those (bleeping) (bleeps)!”
The team faces Goon Squad Saturday.