Category: Hopslam

Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team

Ashleysburg Address Heals League

ANN ARBOR–Following the bloody battle Wednesday evening, League Director Abraham “Lincoln” Colwell addressed an audience there to commemorate the great battle of Ashleysburg, ending with a Hopslam 9-2 victory over the Aventinus troops. “Four scores and seven or so other…

Rough Rough Rough, Dogs Nip Hopslam

ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam fell to the Ice Dogs in an overtime shootout Tuesday night on Olympic. Tied 1-1 with a 5-on-3 advantage, Hopslam could not convert in a third period marked by two late penalties for the Dogs. Nor could…

Nothing Funny About Losing to IceMen

ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam finished their season on a somewhat flat note, losing to the IceMen 2-6 Saturday, making it exceedingly difficult to write anything hilarious in the news report. “I’m pretty sure I was on the ice for all six…

Brock: “What About Bob?”

ANN ARBOR–Bob Brock’s agent (Dawn Queen) is fighting mad. In a statement Wednesday, he blasted the press for its “one-sided coverage of so-called ‘super stars,’” a clear reference to Andrew Thompson, Shawn Lopez, and Evan Feezel– dubbed the New Crew.…

So Close, So Far, So Good

ANN ARBOR–Standing by the glass in the corner of the rink was Matt Schaefer, the standout forward who was shipped off to another league as part of a controversial “league decision” early May. “Shucks,” said Schaefer, watching wistfully as Andrew…

Hopslam Drops Deuce, Video Evidence

ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam (10-7) dropped its second straight game to the Depot Town Stags 3-5 Saturday night despite a furious comeback bid in the third period. As video evidence provided by Stag Television shows, Hopslam was down 5-1 late in…