ANN ARBOR–Hopslam players were mildly stunned Wednesday following their 3-0 win over the Goal Diggers to discover that other beer league teams offer Gatorade as part of their post-game drink menu.
The discovery was made around 1130pm when forward Ginny Klinesteker brought the Aventinus cooler into the Hopslam dressing room, to a cheering Hopslam team. “We should trade for Ginny,” said an excited Bob Brock (assist) eagerly anticipating more beer. “You can never have too much beer!”
High fives were exchanged, as the team hovered around the new cooler in anticipation often reserved for holiday gifts under lighted trees. “Yeah!” said center Ricky Winowiecki (2 goals).
But fountains of Founders ales or pints of Dragon’s Milk were not to be found. “What’s this?” exclaimed a disconcerted Scott Coates (assist). “Gatorade?”
In fact, several flavors have been made available, including the traditional lemon-lime, orange, and “white.” Coates turned away in disgust, but goal-tender Paul Sholtis happily grabbed a drink in celebration of his first shutout of the season.
Andrew Thompson (goal, assist), in clear disappointment, quietly left the room.
“What’s next?” asked defenseman Mark Woods. “Water? Earlier bed times? Sensible diets and exercise? Team practices? Improvement? More wins? Championships? I mean, where does it end?”