ANN ARBOR– Sports writer “Billie” Wontbee-Puttinout allegedly told editors “not tonight” in regard to reporting Ruination’s 7-3 win over Goon Squad Tuesday night due to mild head trauma. “I have a headache,” Wontbee-Puttinout stated, rubbing her temples. Negotiations turned from disbelief to…
Author: ashleyadmin
Older Generation Shrugs Off Hackers, Technology
ANN ARBOR– Suffering the good-natured ribbing from his younger compatriots, Mark Johnston quietly notched Aventinus’s lone goal, ensuring the 1-1 tie versus the Yaks 2 Wednesday night, despite the alleged hacking earlier. “I thought I saw Ron (Coleman) getting cross-checked in…
Docs at 4077 Up to Usual Hockey Hi-jinks
UI-JEONG BU– Ricky “Hawkeye” Winowiecki and Anthony “Honeycut” Ciatti, surgeons and hockey players for Ruination at the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M.A.S.H.) 4077 were up to their “usual hi-jinks” following 18 hours of “meatball surgery” and a 7-5 comeback win…
Detective Thriller Leads to Tie
MEAN STREETS– Hard-boiled private detective Mark Woods immediately recognized something was amiss as Ashley’s Hopslam faced a turbo-charged Cubs AC. “Something ain’t right, see,” growled Woods. A note with the letterhead of the Ann Arbor Ice Cube was carefully slid under…
Winning Weekend
HOPSLAM– Scott Coates gloated as Hopslam raced past Gates 7-2 Saturday night, scoring 3 goals and an assist, including a short-handed goal. Coates made a “painting” motion with each goal, claiming to “add another Coates.” He later claimed that hand…
Head, Butt Puts Coleman on Ice
ANN ARBOR– The highlight (or low light) of the 1-5 Aventinus loss to Ice-o-Topes 2 early Thursday morning was the collision between forward Ken Coleman and referee Luke Hattie. “I don’t know what happened,” said Coleman. Early in the first period,…
Cat-Like Reflexes Saves Bag
ANN ARBOR– Bob Brock moved with lightning-quick, cat-like reflexes Tuesday night after DJ Loney tipped over the cooler, spilling water and ice dangerously close to Brock’s bag and strewn gear. “I’ve never seen him move faster,” said GM Mark Woods.…