ANN ARBOR– In an act of pure heroism mixed with the unbridled spirit of high-stakes sports gambling, forward John Vella absorbed the brunt of a vicious goalie tackle to slam home a last second goal to give Ashley’s Ruination the…
Author: ashleyadmin
Sports Round-Up
RUINATION– Rusty Barron notched his first shutout of the season in an 8-0 win over Depot Town Stags, in accordance with the prophecy. “It has been foretold,” say the spooky guy in the shadows wearing a velvet robe and speaking…
Boucher’s Best: Beer Brought
ANN ARBOR– Defenseman Ed Boucher saved an otherwise dismal game Wednesday night when he arrived– in dramatic fashion– with the beer. “Where the (bleep) is Ed?” asked a terse teammate, thirsty and frustrated from Aventinus’ 0-3 loss to bitter rival…
Hopslam Off the Schneid
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam notched its first win of the Spring season, beating St. Anky Beer 7-1 Tuesday to officially get “off the schneid.” Don Restauri scored two goals despite trade rumors swirling that he will be dealt to a…
Allegations of Illegal Coping Rocks Aventinus
ANN ARBOR– League officials have been investigating allegations of an illegal coping scandal, reported sources Sunday night following Aventinus’ 0-2 loss to Mott FK. The team was last shut out in Game 3 of the Winter 2014 finals April 16,…
Ruination Strikes Back
ANN ARBOR– Following Ruination’s 8-3 win over the Black Bears Saturday night, GM Mark Woods was asked to explain how the team manages to find success amid the chaos. With characteristic humility, Woods was quick to point out that “you…
No Star Wars Characters at Rink Leads to Disappointing Night
ANN ARBOR– Disappointment was etched clearly on the face of fan Ginny Klinesteker Saturday night upon discovering that a “Star Wars” theme night was not orchestrated by the Ann Arbor Ice Cube for the May 4th celebration that’s been dubbed…