ANN ARBOR– Amid the shouts from team benches and from fans before, during, and even after games, a general concern for the cervix seems prevalent among players and fans. Ruination’s 7-4 win over the Cleveland Steamers displayed not only surgical…
Author: ashleyadmin
Hopslam, Jones: Flip and Forget the Past
DALLAS– In times of trouble, it’s easy to look to the past for answers, but sometimes you just have to let it go. That applies to close games lost and flip phones. “The loss stings, but you have to learn…
Aventinus Wins in Heart of Farm Country
HOOTERVILLE–Traveling many miles through the back roads of rural America, Aventinus faced a Green Archers team Wednesday night, skating away with a 4-1 victory despite the adverse conditions. “Sorry I’m late!” said an exasperated Jeff Meden who missed the team…
Barron Gets Governmental On Pizza
WASHINGTON– The U.S. government shutdown of several departments and agencies Tuesday morning proved to be a precursor to Rusty “Obama Booey” Barron’s 5-0 shutdown of Thompson’s Pizza as Ashley’s Ruination moves to a franchise best 5-1 start. “There’s a lot…
Oberon Kenobi Brings Jedi Wisdom, Ale to Aventinus
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus dismantled Goon Squad 5-2 Sunday night and found a visitor awaiting them in the locker room– Jedi master and delicious mini-keg Oberon Kenobi. Tapping into his wisdom and 5.8% alcohol by volume, the team savored the…
Hopslam Reaches Boiling Point, Beer Almost Ready
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam finds itself a team in crisis after a replay 3-7 loss, this time to the Ice Dogs Saturday night. Goaltender Paul Sholtis called the loss “extremely frustrating” despite the fact that he didn’t even play in…
Major League Soccer Slightly More Popular Than Beer League Hockey
VANCOUVER– Following the Whitecaps’ devastating 0-1 loss to Real Salt Lake Saturday night, a sports poll released revealed that Major League Soccer enjoyed “slightly” greater popularity than Beer League Hockey. “Who?” asked local owl, Phineas J. Hootsalot. The poll revealed…