ANN ARBOR–A mysterious bottle of water with the simple note “herpes” remained unsurprisingly full for the duration of the Hopslam game versus Cubs AC Sunday night, which ended in a 4-4 tie. “Whose bottle is this?” asked a thirsty Mark…
Author: ashleyadmin
Roklen Seeks Asylum with Ruination
ANN ARBOR–The beer league hockey world was rocked late Thursday after learning that forward Jonathon Roklen asked for and received asylum from Ashley’s Ruination following their 5-2 victory over the Black Bears on Stadium Ice. “I enjoyed that style of…
Ashleysburg Address Heals League
ANN ARBOR–Following the bloody battle Wednesday evening, League Director Abraham “Lincoln” Colwell addressed an audience there to commemorate the great battle of Ashleysburg, ending with a Hopslam 9-2 victory over the Aventinus troops. “Four scores and seven or so other…
Leafs Can’t Handle the Tooth!
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Aventinus may have lost the championship game last Wednesday, but they managed to keep what counts: their teeth. And, that’s more than can be said for Leaf winger Jon Hyde, who took a header into the boards with…
Ruination Rock Stars Party Like It’s 930pm
ANN ARBOR–Jubilation quietly filled the locker as Ashley’s Ruination won its fifth championship in six seasons, holding off defending champions Goon Squad 8-6 in an otherwise thrilling game. Falling behind 1-2 in the first period, Sean McGrath tied it up…
‘Tinus Tops Topes
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Aventinus showed incredible patience Sunday night as they avenged a quarterfinal playoff loss dating back to last December to these very same Ice-o-Topes with a 2-1 victory that launches them into the Tier II championship. “Nicely done, guys”…
Black Ops Out of Championship Game, Again
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Ruination dismantled a patchwork Black Ops team Saturday night 9-3 despite being what Ops winger Brandon Camper called “a bunch of (bleepy) (bleeps).” The phrase rhymes with “mushy passes,” which more accurately categorizes their play, as the Ops…