CANTON– R. S. “Scotty” Coates expressed concern over the lack of “contributions” to the dwindling beer fund Thursday, prompting accusations and finger-pointing. “Mike (Leighton)… has already brought beer three times this season,” he declared. “As have Bob (Brock) and I,”…
Category: Hopslam
Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team
Yo’MamaCare Not Successful
ANN ARBOR– Trash talk is a big part of any game plan, but the institutionalization of such has proven controversial ever since the Senate passed the Player Projection of Insults Act (or Yo’MamaCare) in 2011. Results have been at best,…
Brock Moonlights as College QB
TUSCALOOSA– Noticeably absent from the scoring sheet, forward Bob Brock has been moonlighting as a college quarterback, shedding several years and several pounds in the process, according to sources. Under the guise of “AJ McCarron,” Brock has guided his team,…
Cubs Bear-ly Skate, Hopslam Beer-ly Skates
ANN ARBOR– Hopslam dominated an aging Cubs AC team late Tuesday night to claw its way above .500 with a 7-1 win. Scott Coates and Ricky Winowiecki each had two goals, while Chris Sutton added a goal and four assists…
Bell’s Heir Refuses to Celebrate with Hopslam
ANN ARBOR– For reasons unknown, forward Luke Bell refused to join the Hopslam team for beers at Ashley’s following their 5-3 victory over rival Yaks Saturday night. “I’m already going to be there with a friend,” explained Bell. However, team…
Woods Sends Hopslam to World Series with Split-finger ‘Fast’ Ball
ANN ARBOR–Hopslam is going back to The Show thanks to a 5-0 shutout effort from pitcher Paul Sholtis Tuesday night against the Ice Dogs. Sholtis’s 2.33 ERA and 4-0 record over the last two weeks has earned him league-wide recognition…
Hopslam Articles Tough to Write, Work Intrudes
AUBURN HILLS– Beat writer Mark Woods revealed Tuesday that it’s “tough to write articles” while holding down an actual job. “Between working and fighting sleep, it’s all I can do to crank out these reports.” “Dozens of people are counting…