TORONTO–League officials uncovered a goal-laundering scandal late Tuesday night when video evidence clearly showed forward Shawn Lopez scored the first goal against the Ice-o-tops, giving him the hat trick for the night.
“I noticed some people missing some points from yesterday,” said Lopez early Wednesday.
It is not clear who is involved in the scandal. League officials in Toronto are tentatively calling it “scorekeeper error,” but anonymous sources claim a full-scale conspiracy.
“It’s a known fact that Scotty (Coates) is playing without a contract at this point,” said an insider. “So, a couple of goals here and there, and some good press, and now he has bargaining power coming into next season.”
Coates did not issue a statement, nor did his agent.
Added the insider: “It’s not just this league (Tier I). And it’s not just goals.”
Allegations have begun to swirl in the last few hours. Reports ranging from assists given to players who weren’t even in the rink to players adding assists to the score sheet while Ron was in the shower are still being investigated.
GM Mark Woods, busy working on a leaky sink during his vacation time, had this statement: “What’s all this about Colgate? I prefer Crest.”
In a less important scandal, sources revealed that Woods was in fact watching his father work on the leaky sink.