HOPSLAM– Bob Brock scored his first goal of the season in a 6-0 win over St. Anky Beer Saturday night, noting that goaltender Brittany Zeches was stellar in her shoutout of the team, and that he is currently paying about $250 per goal this season.
RUINATION– “I’ve never seen so many guys drunk for a game,” said an anonymous league official regarding Ruination’s 4-1 win over the Black Bears Saturday night. Four different skaters scored, including Ricky Winowiecki, who later declared in a drunken text at 2am that goaltender Rusty Barron notched his second shutout, winning 2-0. Winowiecki later admitted to not remembering portions of the game, but denied that “so many” skaters were drunk, noting that the team only had ten total skaters show up for the game.
AVENTINUS– Tom Colis returned to notch an assist and two penalties in a 3-0 win over Team Heidelberg Sunday night. Stating that he “felt great for the first three shifts,” he decided to hack his way through the rest of the game in order to keep up his strength. “Just come to the bench next time,” urged Justin Baier (goal), who later felt bad for such “harsh words.” Scott Bray and Amy Senne also scored. Chris Sutton earned his first shutout for Aventinus.