RUINATION– Contemporary pop band Five For Fighting (including lead singer Matt Schaefer, David Branch on guitar, John Vella on drums, Al Johnson on bass, and Dave Winn on bongos) faced down Thompson’s Pizza, falling 0-9 Saturday, leaving the group to wonder “what if?” Said Vladimir John Ondrasik III (who allegedly claims to use the stage name Five for Fighting) regarding the loss and maintaining the so-called Superman-status: “It’s not easy.”
The Vanilla Ice Project’s Rob Van Winkle has thrown his V.I.P. hat into the hockey analyst ring (here pictured without said hat)
HOPSLAM– Hopes of cold fusion turned to confusion when Hopslam teammates realized that only seven skaters showed up for the 4-6 loss to the Ice-o-topes. Ever reactive, forward Scott Coates (goal) noted that the team “would have one if we had more” goals. Such an observation put him in the 90th percentile for math and science among college students. “I’m sure he’ll do well on the GRE,” noted GM Mark Woods. “And, with 4-5 years of dedication, he’ll have the Women’s Studies master’s degree yet!”
AVENTINUS– Rap artist turned real estate renovation host Rob Van Winkle (akaVanilla Ice) sounded off on Aventinus’ 2-6 loss to Mott Sunday. “Yo, What you got for Mott was not a whole lot,” noted Van Winkle on their lack of goal production. Justin Baier scored in the second period, and Ron Coleman helped to cut the lead to within a goal, but the team was unable to hold off Mott the rest of the way. Van Winkle noted that the team’s defensive effort was “hurtin’ for certain,” and that goaltender Chris Sutton played well, but the defensemen gave “nut’in for Sutton.”