HOPSLAM– In the 1-2 loss Saturday to St. Anky Beer, Hopslam forward Bob Brock told reporters that he tweaked his groin, prompting GM Mark Woods to say, “Hey, this is a family place. Do that in the privacy of your bathroom.” Chris Sutton scored the lone goal with just 0:04 seconds left to spoil the shut-out.
RUINATION– John Vella and Matt Schaefer each had a goal and two assists as Ruination rolled past the Yaks 6-2 Saturday night. Vella credited the win to defenseman and spiritual leader Mark Woods. “We can win now that Woods is here,” he said when the defenseman arrived later in the second period. Woods preceded to avoid scoring, as he has consistently done all season. Anthony Ciatti had two goals for the game.
AVENTINUS– Jen Perry and Ginny Klinesteker successfully launched new careers as entrepreneurs with the opening of their used hockey equipment rummage store: Perryni’s. Though not confirmed, their first sale included hockey pants, a helmet “that has the sticky stuff coming out,” and some old shin guards to some guy named Charlie, who referred to the shop owners as his “angels.” Armed with a new found sense of grasping the American dream, the two went on to help Aventinus defeat the Leafs 3-1 Sunday night. Les Withrow, Justin Baier, and Scott Bray each scored in the win.