ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Clothing Store announced early Thursday that it now offers a new clothing option– ties! “We’re happy to announce that we have all the ties you need,” said haberdasher Mark Woods. The 5-5 collection features ties from Ruination…
Author: ashleyadmin
Product Placement Added in Ruination Interview
ANN ARBOR–Defenseman Mark Woods expressed relief and joy after Ruination’s 3-2 win Saturday night. “It’s a good team win,” said Woods. Media speculation of this being Woods’s “last rodeo” has been largely fueled by questions of his age, decreased goal…
Okray Enjoys Sociopolitical Posturing
DETROIT–Goaltender Matt Okray sat silently bemused in the Olympia Room following Miller-Canfield White’s 14-18 loss to Miller-Canfield Navy Thursday night at Joe Louis Arena as he watched while several teammates jockeyed for social dominance. Following opening statements wherein each player…
Weight of Championship Bearing Down
ANN ARBOR– Success can come at a hefty price, and the pressures to maintain that success increases steadily. This was evident in the locker room following Aventinus’s 4-0 win over the Goaldiggers Wednesday night. “It’s getting really hard,” said winger…
Ruination’s ‘Bring a Friend’ Policy Backfires
ANN ARBOR– The Millennial Generation proved overwhelming in Ruination’s disastrous decision to invite friends to come play in Tuesday night’s game against the Yaks C. “Once you factor in the so-called friends from Facebook, professional connections on LinkedIn, and any…
Aventinus Scraps Ad Campaign
SUNDAY– Aventinus officials following the team’s 6-0 win Sunday night over the Killer Bees stated the franchise would forego its forthcoming ad campaign proclaiming declaring “There must be somethin’ in the water!” The phrase allegedly caught on as a social…
Championship Cup Placed on Display for All to Behold
ANN ARBOR– Following its long and winding journey, the Lord Cowell’s Cup (affectionately known as the Ann Abe-or Trophy) returned to its place in Ashley’s Ruination’s hallowed halls after a thrilling 5-4 win in the C-League Championships. “It’s been a full…