ANN ARBOR–Hopslam is going back to The Show thanks to a 5-0 shutout effort from pitcher Paul Sholtis Tuesday night against the Ice Dogs. Sholtis’s 2.33 ERA and 4-0 record over the last two weeks has earned him league-wide recognition…
Author: ashleyadmin
Coleman Blending Reality, Fantasy
ANN ARBOR– Teammates expressed concern following Sunday’s 1-1 tie between Aventinus and North Coast that defenseman Ron Coleman has begun “blurring the lines between fiction and reality.” “The trouble really started when Ron thought it would be a good idea…
Hopslam Articles Tough to Write, Work Intrudes
AUBURN HILLS– Beat writer Mark Woods revealed Tuesday that it’s “tough to write articles” while holding down an actual job. “Between working and fighting sleep, it’s all I can do to crank out these reports.” “Dozens of people are counting…
Conspiracy Theorists Claim ‘Woodskate Cover-Up’
ANN ARBOR– Though not the leading scorer in Ruination’s 10-3 win, defenseman Mark Woods added a goal and an assist Saturday night, though under a cloud of controversy. “I don’t score a lot, but I can still show these young…
Aventinus: Blades of Still, Steal Win
ANN ARBOR– Despite obvious distractions, Ashely’s Aventinus managed to gut out a very ugly 2-1 win over Mott FK Wednesday night to push its win streak to nine games and a gaudy 10-2 start. “We had some defensive miscues,” quipped…
White Guys Discuss Multi-Culturalism, Drink Beer
ANN ARBOR– Fulfilling Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream of a racially integrated, multi-cultural society, Ashley’s Hopslam performed the next best thing as several of the team’s “white guys” discussed multi-culturalism following their 4-2 win over the Ice-o-topes Tuesday night. “I…
Tuesday Night LeFevre
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Ruination was treated to quite a show Tuesday night as No. 43 scored eight goals… that is, three for Mott’s Eric Bernard and five– yes, five– for Ruination’s Brian LeFevre in their 10-6 win. “I’ve played a lot…