Author: ashleyadmin

Woodsy Dooby Doo… Where Are You?

ANN ARBOR–Under foggy conditions not unlike Grand Banks off the island of Newfoundland or in every episode of Scooby Doo, Hopslam dismantled the Yak-a-topes 9-1 Wednesday evening on the frozen banks of Lake Choppyvarsity. Despite the weather conditions, Andrew Thompson…

Hockey Pimps Tread on Established Turf

ANN ARBOR–Sources near the Ann Arbor Police Department have reported a “turf” war among the various so-called hockey pimps may be on the verge of breaking out following the arrival of two newcomers. “They bad dudes,” said the son of…

Foster Kids Forced to Wait Another Day

ANN ARBOR–With wide, hopeful eyes, a small boy asked a most devastating question: “Am I gonna get a new mommy and daddy?” “Not today, Billy,” said a consoling social worker. “Only one of you will… thanks to Hopslam.” According to…

Phillion Phails… to Bring Cooler!

ANN ARBOR–Never mind the game; goals are given and received, players score, fouls are committed, teams win and lose. But, it’s called a beer league because someone brings beer to EVERY game… until now. Amid the insignificance of the 0-4…

To B or Not to B-League?

ANN ARBOR–Following Ruination’s 1-8 loss to Labatt Blue Thursday night, several inspired players made a bid to the front office to move the team up into the B-league by 2014. “We can compete with those guys,” said a confident Sean…

Aventinus: Koke and a Smile

ANN ARBOR–Winger Becca Koke promised to “tear it up” in Wednesday’s game versus the Goaldiggers and she did not disappoint, scoring a team record four goals and adding an assist as Aventinus won 7-2 in a route. “That was the…