ANN ARBOR– Though not the leading scorer in Ruination’s 10-3 win, defenseman Mark Woods added a goal and an assist Saturday night, though under a cloud of controversy. “I don’t score a lot, but I can still show these young…
Category: Ruination
Updates specific to Ashley’s Ruination team
Tuesday Night LeFevre
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Ruination was treated to quite a show Tuesday night as No. 43 scored eight goals… that is, three for Mott’s Eric Bernard and five– yes, five– for Ruination’s Brian LeFevre in their 10-6 win. “I’ve played a lot…
Ruination Loss Ruins Columbus Day
ANN ARBOR– Columbus Day is usually a time of pageantry and revelry as Americans celebrate the discovery of Ohio. However, the celebration was somewhat marred by Ruination’s loss to Black Ops 1-5 Saturday night. “I don’t even feel like celebrating,”…
Goal-bal Debt Ceiling Raises Fears
ANN ARBOR–The goals continue to rise as Ashley’s Ruination enjoyed a 10-4 victory over the Oilers to push their record to 7-1, but economists’ fears of a recession have only intensified. The so-called “debt ceiling” has officials worried that Ruination…
Gynecologists Can Find Ample Work at Rink, Apparently
ANN ARBOR– Amid the shouts from team benches and from fans before, during, and even after games, a general concern for the cervix seems prevalent among players and fans. Ruination’s 7-4 win over the Cleveland Steamers displayed not only surgical…
Barron Gets Governmental On Pizza
WASHINGTON– The U.S. government shutdown of several departments and agencies Tuesday morning proved to be a precursor to Rusty “Obama Booey” Barron’s 5-0 shutdown of Thompson’s Pizza as Ashley’s Ruination moves to a franchise best 5-1 start. “There’s a lot…
Major League Soccer Slightly More Popular Than Beer League Hockey
VANCOUVER– Following the Whitecaps’ devastating 0-1 loss to Real Salt Lake Saturday night, a sports poll released revealed that Major League Soccer enjoyed “slightly” greater popularity than Beer League Hockey. “Who?” asked local owl, Phineas J. Hootsalot. The poll revealed…