Category: Hopslam

Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team

Highs and Lopez as Teams Make Bold Moves

RUINATION– Following their thrilling 5-5 tie with Yaks B of the B2 League Monday night, GM Mark Woods announced that forward Shawn Lopez will be named the franchise player for the new Ashley’s Bud Light Lime team. “After scoring two…

Feelings Less Than Mutual Over Omaha Incident

ANN ARBOR– Feelings were mixed Tuesday when the Ann Arbor Ice Cube announced that the league would receive sponsorship from insurance giant Mutual of Omaha. As a goodwill gesture, former Nebraska-Omaha player John Thomas played in what he believed was a…

This Week at the Cube

HOPSLAM– Police officer, gentleman, and Hopslam goaltender Ryan Bidwell reportedly stepped down as chief of security for the Ann Arbor Ice Cube when it was revealed that director Abe Colwell had shared the elevator with a man who is known to…

Refs Successfully Turn Tide

ANN ARBOR– Through the valiant efforts of referee Tapu Silvenoinen, Black Ops was able to overcome a 0-3 first period that saw Hopslam’s Andrew Thompson score a natural hat trick to win 11-3 Saturday night. “‘Zat was close one, ya,”…

Four Score and Hopslam Wins

ANN ARBOR– In an odd and inexplicable trend, Ashley’s Hopslam scored four goals for the fifth straight game, this time resulting in a 4-1 win over the Ice-o-Topes early Wednesday morning. Despite a skeleton crew, Hopslam dominated the Topes as…

Hopslam Pooped Out Versus Steamers

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam players expressed fatigue following their 4-7 loss to the Cleveland Steamers Saturday night. “We were just pooped,” said defenseman Mark Woods. Hopslam started slowly as the Steamers quickly dropped 3 pucks into the net in the…