Category: Hopslam

Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team

Sharknado Bears Down on Hopslam

ANN ARBOR– In a replay of last Sunday’s match-up Bearshark! once again rolled up three goals on Ashley’s Hopslam to start the first period. However, Hopslam was not able to respond until the third period, down by four goals, eventually…

Coates Tests Positive for Tardiness

ANN ARBOR– Sources close to the team confirmed that center Scott Coates tested positive for tardiness Wednesday, resulting in an immediate one-game suspension in Hopslam’s 5-1 win over Sasquatch. “Scott’s a good player and knows better than that,” said Hopslam…

Ashley’s Barely Skates By Bearshark!

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam fought back from a 0-3 deficit to beat Bearshark! 6-5 in a highly anticipated game. League director Abe Colwell stated at the beginning of the season that he was “interested to see ” how the two…

Winn In Loss

ANN ARBOR– Times are tough. Since the economic turmoil began in 2008, American– from Main Street to Wall Street– has felt the pinch. Even top-level professional athletes. Nowhere is this most poignant than in the tragic case of one Dr.…

Hopslam, Julius Coates-er’s Campaign Ends

ZELA– Scott Coates was like a surly Roman general Saturday night, though the outcome against the Germanic horde known as Sasquatch was not the same as history records for one Julius Caeser (who admittedly was fighting Persians in Turkey around…

New Amazon Phone Distracts

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam beat Cubs AC Tuesday night 3-0 in a dominating defensive performance, though sources admit that it’s “really hard to focus on that” in light of the recently announced Amazon Fire Phone, set to be released exclusively…