ANN ARBOR– Fulfilling Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream of a racially integrated, multi-cultural society, Ashley’s Hopslam performed the next best thing as several of the team’s “white guys” discussed multi-culturalism following their 4-2 win over the Ice-o-topes Tuesday night. “I…
Category: Hopslam
Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team
Hopslam Hits on Chick Goalie, Love Returns
ANN ARBOR– Fans were treated to a “Night Club Nite” on Varsity as Hopslam beat back the Bears 7-4 Saturday, marking the return of referee Harry Love and debut of Bear goaltender Michelle Yurcak. “She got hit on more times…
Netherworld Reportedly “Iced Over”
NIFLHEIM– Residents of the netherworld “below” were surprised late Tuesday night to find the normally febrile conditions radically altered following Hopslam’s 5-6 loss to the Ice Men in Ann Arbor. Temperatures plunged overnight, leaving officials somewhat baffled. “We haven’t had…
Hopslam, Jones: Flip and Forget the Past
DALLAS– In times of trouble, it’s easy to look to the past for answers, but sometimes you just have to let it go. That applies to close games lost and flip phones. “The loss stings, but you have to learn…
Hopslam Reaches Boiling Point, Beer Almost Ready
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam finds itself a team in crisis after a replay 3-7 loss, this time to the Ice Dogs Saturday night. Goaltender Paul Sholtis called the loss “extremely frustrating” despite the fact that he didn’t even play in…
Gates-gate: “I See Men, But No Maidens!”
ANN ARBOR–Controversy swirls amid the Ann Arbor Ice Cube following Hopslam’s 3-7 loss Tuesday night to Gates Maidens & Men when it was apparent that there were no “maidens” on the roster. “The goalie is the ugly chick, right?” asked…
Bugs Bunny Slow Ball Perplexes Hopslam
ANN ARBOR–Amid the disappointment of losing to the Ice-o-topes 2-3 Saturday night, Hopslam managed to take some solace in the fact Bugs Bunny’s famous “slow ball” pitch. “He’s a bit wascally, so it’s no wonder,” said GM Mark Woods following…