ANN ARBOR–With wide, hopeful eyes, a small boy asked a most devastating question: “Am I gonna get a new mommy and daddy?” “Not today, Billy,” said a consoling social worker. “Only one of you will… thanks to Hopslam.” According to…
Category: Hopslam
Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team
Hopslam Reaches ‘All Is Lost’ Moment in Movie
HOLLYWOOD–All good movies have a formula faithfully followed, from the opening image to the theme stated to the chase scene and the proverbial “ride into the sunset.” Hopslam reached the point in the movie where, following the zany “fun and…
Brock Ready For Fame, Fortune
ANN ARBOR–Winger Bob Brock asked reporters what it would take to get noticed by the media and the fans. The long list included: hard work, winning personality, deeper understanding of the game, maybe back checking once in awhile. A blank…
Beer League Team Offers Hydration Option?
ANN ARBOR–Hopslam players were mildly stunned Wednesday following their 3-0 win over the Goal Diggers to discover that other beer league teams offer Gatorade as part of their post-game drink menu. The discovery was made around 1130pm when forward Ginny Klinesteker…
Five Bears No Match For Goal-dilocks
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam had a blonde moment– four actually– as they handed a depleted Bears team a 4-1 loss Sunday night on Stadium Ice. “Who’s been scoring in my net?” grumbled an angry and confused Bear whose name shall remain…
No Body Wash For Old Men, Hopslam
ANN ARBOR–Center Ricky Winowiecki, after scoring 2 goals and dishing out 2 assists in Hopslam’s 7-3 win over the Leafs Wednesday night, has allegedly discovered the source of “old man smell.” After some speculation– including Old Spice, Brut, or a…
‘Herpes’ Water Bottle Remains Full
ANN ARBOR–A mysterious bottle of water with the simple note “herpes” remained unsurprisingly full for the duration of the Hopslam game versus Cubs AC Sunday night, which ended in a 4-4 tie. “Whose bottle is this?” asked a thirsty Mark…