ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam (10-5) slammed Gates Maidens & Men & Mott and John (figuratively and literally) Saturday night 7-1, reaching double digit victories for the first time in recent memory (and quite possibly ever). Mike Leighton had a goal, 3…
Category: Hopslam
Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team
‘Goal-Gate’ Blown Wide Open
TORONTO–League officials uncovered a goal-laundering scandal late Tuesday night when video evidence clearly showed forward Shawn Lopez scored the first goal against the Ice-o-tops, giving him the hat trick for the night. “I noticed some people missing some points from…
Beer Reason for Winning, Hopslam
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam (9-5) won their second game in the Post-Schaefer era with goal production from an inspired Shawn Lopez and Scott Coates, who each had two for the night. Ever humble, Coates made no mention of the game. “All…
Hopslam Begins Dog Training
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam (8-5) overcame some dubious calls by the referees Tuesday night to beat the Ice Dogs 3-2, halting a 2-game skid. Forward Shawn Lopez got back on track with a goal and an assist despite losing an edge…
Hopslam: Slow and Furious Gov’t Scandal Exposed
ROSWELL– Government watchdog groups leaked information late Tuesday following Hopslam’s 1-4 loss to the Ice Men linking the team to a massive government cover-up involving “Environmental Specialist” Steve Gorham. Though the details have been obscured, it is clear that Gorham…
Evil Plot to Dismantle Hopslam Complete
MUNICH– Bavarian Motor Works CEO Heinz Getwellvet (pronounced Gish-vel vet) has achieved his objective: dismantle Ashley’s Hopslam. Following Hopslam’s 1-4 loss to rival Yaks Saturday night– a loss that did not include dynamic duo Matt Schaefer and Shawn Lopez– it…
Full House Hopslam Get Two Pair
Ashley’s Hopslam (7-3) won its fourth straight game, defeating a frustrated Depot Town Stags 4-0 Tuesday. Wingers Matt Schaefer and Mike Leighton each scored two goals, while Shawn Lopez gathered three assists, leading the team with ten for the season.…