ANN ARBOR– Ron Coleman scored two goals while pressed into duty as a winger Wednesday night en route to Ashley’s Aventinus beating arch-rival Leafs 5-3 in a game refs called “intense.” “I prefer playing defense,” said Coleman nervously before the…
Category: Aventinus
Updates specific to Ashley’s Aventinus team
Force Missing, Ken-obi
TATOOINE– Following a another recent defeat for the rebels, the search for Jedi master Colemanwon Ken-obi began in earnest. “Where can he be?!” said an exasperated Luke Skywalker. Suffering its worst loss of the season, Ashley’s Aventinus was blanked 0-5…
Flu-ridden Johnston Scores, Yaks
ANN ARBOR– Mark Johnston fought of the effects of a cold and flu-like symptoms to score the game-winning goal as Aventinus rebounds from its loss to Goon Squad Sunday, beating the Yaks 4-2 Wednesday night. “I told him just to…
Johnston Head Cold Freezes Aventinus
ANN ARBOR– Helpless to defend himself because of a head cold and a lack of editorial decision-making power at the Ashley’s News desk, winger Mark Johnston was unfairly blamed for the 1-3 loss to Goon Squad 2 Sunday. “If was…
Tough Work Week Forces Lame ‘Sports Round-Up’
AUBURN HILLS– Amid the bustle of meetings, deadlines, bleary eyes, and snow flurries that marked the work week, the sporting world managed to march forward without regard for any of these “trifling” concerns. And thousands of fans have come to…
Aventinus Faces Winter Storm Vulcan with Logic
ANN ARBOR– Following their 3-1 win over the Ice-o-topes 2 Sunday night, Aventinus discovered Winter Storm Vulcan approaching Southeast Michigan by early Wednesday despite the seeming Spring-like temperatures. The news brought genuine concern for the players, many of whom are…
Aventinus Earns Win, 3 Meetings on 4 Hours
AUBURN HILLS– To the victor go the spoils, and no team was more deserving than Ashley’s Aventinus, who overcame a short bench, goalie absenteeism, and a late game comeback bid to beat the Goaldiggers 6-5 early Thursday to earn a…