Category: Aventinus

Updates specific to Ashley’s Aventinus team

Aventinus Channel Milli Vanilli

ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Aventinus finished their season on a somewhat flat note after losing to the Yak-a-Topes 5-6 Wednesday night on Varsity Ice, prompting the question: who is to blame? “I blame it on (GM) Mark Woods,” said Chris Boulter, who…

A Boulter Lightning

ANN ARBOR–Chris “Insane” Boulter shot out of nowhere Sunday night, striking early and often as Aventinus ran past the Goaldiggers 6-4 on Olympic Ice. “He was like a Jamaican sprinter on skates,” said an excited GM Mark Woods, “Only a…

Petulant Youths Sent to Principal’s Office

ANN ARBOR–Ice Cube Elementary principal Abram Colwell had a busy day Wednesday when several boys were sent to the office following separate but related playground incidents during scheduled “playground time.” “Number 73 started it,” claimed Louie Fulcher through tear-stained eyes.…

Phillion Phails… to Bring Cooler!

ANN ARBOR–Never mind the game; goals are given and received, players score, fouls are committed, teams win and lose. But, it’s called a beer league because someone brings beer to EVERY game… until now. Amid the insignificance of the 0-4…

Aventinus: Koke and a Smile

ANN ARBOR–Winger Becca Koke promised to “tear it up” in Wednesday’s game versus the Goaldiggers and she did not disappoint, scoring a team record four goals and adding an assist as Aventinus won 7-2 in a route. “That was the…

Bears, Woods: “You Know What Happens”

ANN ARBOR–With only seven skaters on Olympic ice, the Bears simply pooped out as Ashley’s Aventinus wiped them up 5-2 to move above .500 once again.  Defenseman Mark Woods attributed the win to good “moral fiber.” “Plus, they played like…