Category: Aventinus

Updates specific to Ashley’s Aventinus team

‘Goal-Gate’ Blown Wide Open

TORONTO–League officials uncovered a goal-laundering scandal late Tuesday night when video evidence clearly showed forward Shawn Lopez scored the first goal against the Ice-o-tops, giving him the hat trick for the night. “I noticed some people missing some points from…

Blame Game, Aventinus Not Digging Goals Against

ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Aventinus (8-3-3) lost to the Goaldiggers 1-3, leaving the team to search for reasons. “The team was real tired,” offered goal-tender Paul Sholtis. “So, we lost.” “We decided to blame the loss on Daryl (Coleman),” said defenseman Ron…

Sutton-ly Aventinus in 1st Place

ANN ARBOR– It may only last until tonight, but right now the once-lowly Aventinus team sits atop the standings with 19 points after beating Bell’s Beer 5-2 Sunday night in a bitterly fought game. “They were a bunch of jerks,”…

Streak Struck, Stricken

Ashley’s Aventinus (6-2-3) had their seven-game unbeaten streak snapped Sunday night, losing to Mott D2 2-4 in a game that slowly slipped away. Mott winger Andy Meyer broke through the defense mid-way through the first period to give Mott the…

Lab Chimps Hostage Standoff Enters Third Day

ANN ARBOR– Sources close to the scene state that laboratory chimpanzees at the University of Michigan Medical Center have reportedly escaped from their cages and are currently holding lab manager Joseph Crossno hostage. In a very clipped message, Crossno communicated…

Nothing Fishy About Aventinus Win

Ashley’s Aventinus (6-1-2) extended its unbeaten streak to six games, beating Barracuda 5-2 Sunday night with three power play goals, a natural hattrick from Jeff Phillion, and a whole lot of assists from Joe Crossno (3) and Chris Boulter (2).…