Category: Aventinus

Updates specific to Ashley’s Aventinus team

Miss Colombia Mistakenly Named D2 Champion

LAS VEGAS– Following a turbulent and competitive match, Miss Colombia was mistakenly named the D2 Champion Sunday night following an earlier mishap in the Miss Universe Pageant. “I no win?” asked Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutierrez. “Please don’t hold this against…

Aventinus: One (or Two) and Done!

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus and Mott FK wait for the announcement Friday that will determine if the their championship showdown is a one-game championship Sunday or a best-of-three series, sources report. “This is so exciting,” noted GM Sal Castic. “In…

Aventinus Sit Up for Joy

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus beat Barracuda 5-1 Wednesday night to push its playoff record to 4-0, earning them a spot in the finals next Wednesday, prompting teammates to celebrate late into the night with beers held with slumped shoulders and…

Poem Praises Aventinus Win

ANN ARBOR– Following its 5-2 victory over Mott FK Sunday night, Ashley’s Aventinus was lauded by U.S. Poet Laureate Juan Felipe Herrera in a poem lauding the players and the game. What fear in better bitter beer can be seen…

Winn-Win Situation

ANN ARBOR– Despite the oddsmakers’ overwhelming pick, the top-ranked Leafs fluttered and fell to Ashley’s Aventinus 2-4 in Sunday’s D2 Round Robin play, putting Aventinus in the driver’s seat moving forward. ” [It] felt good to finally defeat the Leafs…

Dr. Seuss Urges Aventinus in Vain

ANN ARBOR– Beloved children’s author Dr. Seuss urged Aventinus on Wednesday night in its match-up with the Yaks D2 team, but could only inspire them to a 0-0 tie. “The buzzer creeps, the buzzer beeps, but just before, will you…