ANN ARBOR–Aventinus beat Goaldiggers 2-1 Sunday night, bringing the team above .500 for the first time since January 4. Timely goals from Tom Colis and Jon Hwang in the second and third period helped extend Aventinus’s win streak to four.…
Category: Aventinus
Updates specific to Ashley’s Aventinus team
New Skaters Hoping Checks Bounce
ANN ARBOR– Tom Colis scored the lone goal for Aventinus as they were routed by the Ice-o-topes D2 team 1-5 Wednesday night. The third straight loss had newcomers Jon Hwang, Robert Texeira, and Kenny Schmidt wondering if joining the team…
Woods Joins Boys Rule Girls Drool at Joe Louis
DETROIT– Excitement filled the air following Aventinus’s 2-4 loss to the Wu Tang Killer Bees Wednesday night when it was announced that defenseman Mark Woods was given an official invitation to join the prestigious club league playing out of Joe…
Woods, Aventinus Get Two Ties
LIVONIA– The lives of defenseman Mark Woods and Ashley’s Aventinus paralleled each other curiously Sunday when both received two ties. Shopping in the Laurel Park Mall’s Von Maur department store, Woods purchased a Brooks Brother’s and an Enro tie, only…
Writer Speaks of Daring Escape, Aventinus Tied Up
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s sports writer Mark Woods spoke recently of his daring escape only days ago from some undisclosed location in Europe, making his way back incredibly through impossible odds to report Aventinus’s 2-2 tie with the Leafs Sunday night. “It…
Patriots Now Charged with Deflating Seahawk Fans
SEATTLE– As if the Deflate-Gate coverage wasn’t already enough, allegations that the New England Patriots “deflated” fans throughout the Pacific Northwest Sunday have surfaced. Dubbed “Deflate-Gate II: Electric Boogaloo,” NFL officials have been forced to open a new investigation. “I’m…
Spontaneous Third Nipple “Tender”
ANN ARBOR– Defenseman Mark Woods took a shot from Goaldigger Rob Yallop Wednesday, hitting him in the chest, essentially tattooing what appeared to be a superfluous third nipple in Aventinus’s 2-3 loss. “It hurts,” admitted Woods following the game. Referred…