ANN ARBOR– It may only last until tonight, but right now the once-lowly Aventinus team sits atop the standings with 19 points after beating Bell’s Beer 5-2 Sunday night in a bitterly fought game. “They were a bunch of jerks,”…
Month: May 2013
Sports Writer Graduates From Mitch Albom School of Repetition, Schmaltz
ANN ARBOR– All business. That’s what this team is all about– business. All business. Ashley’s Aventinus (7-2-3) got back on track with a 2-0 win Wednesday night against the Ice-o-topes 2, putting them into a three-way tie for first place.…
A Goon Skate Ruined
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination (6-4) won its third straight game and first of the season over bitter rival Goon Squad 4-2 late Tuesday night on Stadium Ice. Goaltender Rusty Barron fought off two first period goals, pitching two shut-out innings…
Hopslam: Slow and Furious Gov’t Scandal Exposed
ROSWELL– Government watchdog groups leaked information late Tuesday following Hopslam’s 1-4 loss to the Ice Men linking the team to a massive government cover-up involving “Environmental Specialist” Steve Gorham. Though the details have been obscured, it is clear that Gorham…
Streak Struck, Stricken
Ashley’s Aventinus (6-2-3) had their seven-game unbeaten streak snapped Sunday night, losing to Mott D2 2-4 in a game that slowly slipped away. Mott winger Andy Meyer broke through the defense mid-way through the first period to give Mott the…
Ruination Hotbed of Political Cover-ups
Ashley’s Ruination (5-4) took control of the third period to beat a surprisingly resilient Thompson’s Pizza Saturday night 5-2. Defenseman Jason Spence had two goals, including the game-winner, while Paul Sholtis had a goal and an assist. Jon Molnar, longtime…
Evil Plot to Dismantle Hopslam Complete
MUNICH– Bavarian Motor Works CEO Heinz Getwellvet (pronounced Gish-vel vet) has achieved his objective: dismantle Ashley’s Hopslam. Following Hopslam’s 1-4 loss to rival Yaks Saturday night– a loss that did not include dynamic duo Matt Schaefer and Shawn Lopez– it…