ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus dismantled Goon Squad 5-2 Sunday night and found a visitor awaiting them in the locker room– Jedi master and delicious mini-keg Oberon Kenobi. Tapping into his wisdom and 5.8% alcohol by volume, the team savored the…
Month: September 2013
Hopslam Reaches Boiling Point, Beer Almost Ready
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam finds itself a team in crisis after a replay 3-7 loss, this time to the Ice Dogs Saturday night. Goaltender Paul Sholtis called the loss “extremely frustrating” despite the fact that he didn’t even play in…
Major League Soccer Slightly More Popular Than Beer League Hockey
VANCOUVER– Following the Whitecaps’ devastating 0-1 loss to Real Salt Lake Saturday night, a sports poll released revealed that Major League Soccer enjoyed “slightly” greater popularity than Beer League Hockey. “Who?” asked local owl, Phineas J. Hootsalot. The poll revealed…
Aventinus: Beat-Leafers
ANN ARBOR: If it’s a question of beliefs, then you better beat Leafs… And that’s exactly what Aventinus did to the tune of 6-0 Wednesday night on Olympic Ice. Scott Bray dropped in two goals and an assist while four…
Gates-gate: “I See Men, But No Maidens!”
ANN ARBOR–Controversy swirls amid the Ann Arbor Ice Cube following Hopslam’s 3-7 loss Tuesday night to Gates Maidens & Men when it was apparent that there were no “maidens” on the roster. “The goalie is the ugly chick, right?” asked…
Secret to Defensive Success: Socks
ANN ARBOR– Never mind that Tom Colis dropped in a goal and two assists, or that Scott Bray added two goals including the game winner in the 4-2 Aventinus victory over Ice-o-topes 2 Sunday night. “I give that win to…
Hopslam Hobos Help Ruination
ANN ARBOR– The city is no stranger to any series of homeless vagrants panhandling for change in order to procure a bottle of spirits to get them through the night. But, what happens when instead of receiving change, they are…