ANN ARBOR– Ron Coleman scored two goals while pressed into duty as a winger Wednesday night en route to Ashley’s Aventinus beating arch-rival Leafs 5-3 in a game refs called “intense.” “I prefer playing defense,” said Coleman nervously before the…
Month: March 2014
Groove, Meaning Sought for in Hopslam Tie
RYDELL HIGH SCHOOL– The Pink Ladies– a so-called female gang at Rydell High School– had cause to celebrate when a late and controversial goal to give the gals a 2-2 tie over rival gang, the Thunderbirds (often informally called Hopslam).…
Payeur Finds, Fights New Buddy
ANN ARBOR– The 6-4 win over Thompson’s Pizza Tuesday was bittersweet for Ashley’s Ruination. Racking up an impressive eleven penalties totaling 51 minutes, the team conceded any chance of the Lady Byng team award (for sportsmanship and playing excellence), but felt…
Force Missing, Ken-obi
TATOOINE– Following a another recent defeat for the rebels, the search for Jedi master Colemanwon Ken-obi began in earnest. “Where can he be?!” said an exasperated Luke Skywalker. Suffering its worst loss of the season, Ashley’s Aventinus was blanked 0-5…
Ruination Enjoys Spring Break, Bud Light Lime
ANN ARBOR- If you can’t take the team to Florida for Spring Break, what is a team to do? Ashley’s Ruination found themselves asking that very question following their 3-3 tie with the Cleveland Steamers Saturday night. The answer came…
Flu-ridden Johnston Scores, Yaks
ANN ARBOR– Mark Johnston fought of the effects of a cold and flu-like symptoms to score the game-winning goal as Aventinus rebounds from its loss to Goon Squad Sunday, beating the Yaks 4-2 Wednesday night. “I told him just to…
Barron Grouchy Over GM Decision
ANN ARBOR– “I hate playing Cubs,” stated goaltender Rusty Barron following Hopslam’s 6-3 win Tuesday night. “I never know what they’re doing.” Despite that, Barron had a solid game in net, stopping 97 of 100 shots for a a gaudy…