ANN ARBOR– “Worst. Morning. Ever!” Words uttered by anyone feeling the sting of the 2-2 tie that left goaltender Paul Sholtis bruised and battered after some chippy moments with Ruination’s rival Black Bears Tuesday night. “Guy (Lafleur) came in hard on…
Month: March 2014
Johnston Head Cold Freezes Aventinus
ANN ARBOR– Helpless to defend himself because of a head cold and a lack of editorial decision-making power at the Ashley’s News desk, winger Mark Johnston was unfairly blamed for the 1-3 loss to Goon Squad 2 Sunday. “If was…
Search for Ruination Players Expanded to 25 Countries
ANN ARBOR– A roster that included nearly twenty players has been whittled down to eight following Ruination’s 1-2 loss to Black Ops Saturday, prompting the international community to expand their search for players globally. New information has recently come to…
Phillion Survives Celebrity Death Hoax
ANN ARBOR– When the league’s best goalie didn’t arrive for the game, players and fans grew concerned. “Huh,” said an oddly reflective Luke Bell upon hearing the “news” that Jeff Phillion had been involved in an accident riding along with…
Tough Work Week Forces Lame ‘Sports Round-Up’
AUBURN HILLS– Amid the bustle of meetings, deadlines, bleary eyes, and snow flurries that marked the work week, the sporting world managed to march forward without regard for any of these “trifling” concerns. And thousands of fans have come to…
Aventinus Faces Winter Storm Vulcan with Logic
ANN ARBOR– Following their 3-1 win over the Ice-o-topes 2 Sunday night, Aventinus discovered Winter Storm Vulcan approaching Southeast Michigan by early Wednesday despite the seeming Spring-like temperatures. The news brought genuine concern for the players, many of whom are…
Hopslam Wins, Ends Winter in Narnia
NARNIA– Hopslam’s 5-1 victory over Sasquatch Saturday marked the end of The Long Winter that had lasted for the past 100 years, roughly marked by the reign of Jadis, also known as the White Witch, in Narnia and much of…