LAS VEGAS– Following a turbulent and competitive match, Miss Colombia was mistakenly named the D2 Champion Sunday night following an earlier mishap in the Miss Universe Pageant. “I no win?” asked Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutierrez. “Please don’t hold this against…
Author: ashleyadmin
Ruination Exposed for Creating Fake Roster!
ANN ARBOR– Fraud charges may be levied against Ashley’s Ruination after officials determined that several players “do not, in fact, actually exist,” said sources following the team’s 3-5 loss Saturday in the C-league championship series. “I’m just as shocked as…
Aventinus: One (or Two) and Done!
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus and Mott FK wait for the announcement Friday that will determine if the their championship showdown is a one-game championship Sunday or a best-of-three series, sources report. “This is so exciting,” noted GM Sal Castic. “In…
League Demands on Aventinus Continue to Grow
ANN ARBOR– After completing a 5-0 round robin playoff season with a 3-0 win over Yeti, Ashley’s Aventinus was stunned to find that yet another round of playoffs follow. “We thought this led to a championship game,” said GM Mark…
Ballad of Six-Gun Sutton in Stag Shoot-out Sung
ANN ARBOR–It’s not often that legends are made and from Wild West shootouts between outlaws and lawmen, but history records an incident taking place in a Midwest town known by the residents as Depot Town, where a roving band of…
GM’s New Quiet Life of Painting
PORTLAND, MN– Citing the “stress managing a storied franchise,” GM Mark Woods stepped down from the helm prior to the Fall season, opting for a contemplative life on the shores of Maine, where he now spends his time pursuing the…
Aventinus Sit Up for Joy
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus beat Barracuda 5-1 Wednesday night to push its playoff record to 4-0, earning them a spot in the finals next Wednesday, prompting teammates to celebrate late into the night with beers held with slumped shoulders and…