Author: ashleyadmin

Team Takes a Knee, Protesting Fatigue

ANN ARBOR– Several players were spotted “taking a knee” throughout Ruination’s 6-3 win Monday night against Black Ops as part of a protest against fatigue, sources report. “I’m protesting the lactic acids building up in my muscles by taking a…

New Draft Pick Highly Recruited

REDFORD– GM Mark Woods has made a number of provocative trades in the past to get early draft picks, and none more so than the most recent trade that sent forward Zeb Bruckman to Montana for a draft pick in…

Mundane Ghosts of Past Relived

OSCODA– Defenseman Mark Woods reflected on his journey to Beer League greatness Saturday before Hopslam’s 3-3 tie with Sasquatch with a visit to his adopted home town of Oscoda, MI, Saturday. “Lot of memories in this place,” he said bemused.…

Former Ashley’s Player Released Back into Wild

BOZEMAN– Montana is the site of many wonders of nature, including Yellowstone and Glacier National Park. However, a new natural wonder can be included with the release of Zebediah Bruckman back into the wild. “He’s in his natural habitat,” said…

Sutton Given Highest Honor

ANN ARBOR– Not since the Wizard of Oz himself handed a heart to the Tin Man has a higher honor been bestowed than early Monday morning as Hopslam finished their on-ice drills following its Saturday night win over the Cleveland…

League Proposes ‘No Tuck’ Rule

ANN ARBOR– Following Ruination’s 11-3 victory over the Ice-o-topes Saturday, league officials announced a proposed rule change generally known as the “no tuck” rule. “This is an outrage,” said players and fans regarding the announcement. Calling the rule “potentially sexist,”…

Ashley’s Weekend Preview

Ashley’s Hockey has a full compliment of games this weekend. Among the more exciting storylines to follow will include: Hopslam— The Hopslammers take on the Cleveland Steamers while asking: “What kind of crap is this?” Ruination— The Ghost of Hockey…