Author: ashleyadmin

Hopslam Wins In Accordance with Prophecy

ANN ARBOR– According to the ancient text known in academic circles as the Riley Codex, Hopslam was guaranteed a championship for the Winter 2017 season. In fact, the Ashley’s team defeated the Ice Men 3-2 in Game 2 of the…

El Neto Signed for Hopslam

CANCUN– VP of Operations Chris Sutton announced Thursday from his hotel in Cancun that Mexico’s winningest goaltender and national treasure Rico “El Neto” Winowiecko has been signed in time for Hopslam’s championship series opener Saturday night against the Ice Men.…

Participation Trophy Anticipated

RUINATION– Ruination fell to Black Ops 8-9 Saturday evening, stretching their championship slump to five seasons. “I only have myself to blame,” said GM Mark Woods. “Mostly because hardly anyone ever showed up this season.” Explained¬†Woods: “Apparently, things like spending…

Wild Bill McDermott Avenged

BANGTOWN– Following a 5-3 shootout at the Ice Cube Corral Saturday night with the Liebherr gang, friends and kin of William “Wild Bill” McDermott claimed to have “avenged” the loss of their comrade in arms. Known informally as the Sutton…

Price, Performance Right for Winowiecki

HOLLYWOOD– Goaltender Ricky Winowiecki celebrated his 11-1 win over the Black Bears Saturday night and Ruination’s 8-0 topping of Black Ops and its 17-6-1 regular season record by visiting California, part of the Ashley’s Goodwill Tour, appearing on The Price…

Super Villain Laments Falling Out of Spotlight

GULFPORT– Cyrus Gold, once more popularly known as Solomon Grundy (purportedly born on a Monday), lamented recently the noticeable lack of star power over the years. “Solomon Grundy used to be somebody,” Grundy stated with his noted Southern accent. “Now,…

Corporate Sponsors Take Over League

ANN ARBOR– The Ann Arbor Hockey League may have been the last bastion of unsullied hockey, free of corporate sponsorship and the inevitable branding and shameless product placement… at least it was. “Folks, I’m pleased as Tropicana Fruit Punch to…