Author: ashleyadmin

Better Late Than Ever

ANN ARBOR– Ever for the flair for the dramatic, Ruination waited until literally the last second in order to extend their unbeaten streak to 18 games stretching back to November 4 of last year, and their fifth straight win over…

Gryfintinus Docked Points by Evil Professor Snabe

HOGWARTS–Nerds everywhere expressed outrage Monday following the announcement that Gryfintinus House would forfeit their hard earned two points in their 6-4 win over Yeticlaw Sunday night. Professor Snabe, filling in as the interim headmaster of Hogwarts while “stuff gets worked…

Alien Hockey Invaders Exposed!

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hockey Franchise came under scrutiny Friday when a picture circa 1947 began circulating clearly depicting two contemporary Ashley’s players. “You can clearly see that (Ricky) Winowiecki and (Kenny) Schmidt are in their mid to late twenties in…

Team Takes a Knee, Protesting Fatigue

ANN ARBOR– Several players were spotted “taking a knee” throughout Ruination’s 6-3 win Monday night against Black Ops as part of a protest against fatigue, sources report. “I’m protesting the lactic acids building up in my muscles by taking a…

New Draft Pick Highly Recruited

REDFORD– GM Mark Woods has made a number of provocative trades in the past to get early draft picks, and none more so than the most recent trade that sent forward Zeb Bruckman to Montana for a draft pick in…

Mundane Ghosts of Past Relived

OSCODA– Defenseman Mark Woods reflected on his journey to Beer League greatness Saturday before Hopslam’s 3-3 tie with Sasquatch with a visit to his adopted home town of Oscoda, MI, Saturday. “Lot of memories in this place,” he said bemused.…