ANN ARBOR– In a true total team effort, Ashley’s Aventinus held star D2 skater Cody Travis without a goal in their semi-final match-up Sunday night. “Try as he might, there was no way he was scoring a goal,” said a…
Author: ashleyadmin
Philosopher Brings Ruination Win
ANN ARBOR–Who would have thought that a philosopher who brought Western Civilization the idea of the superman– or ubermensch— could also be Superman in goalie pads, bringing a 5-3 win for Ashley’s Ruination Tuesday night? “How Nietzsche could write something as bold…
Strange Exchange at Pop Concert
PINE KNOB– A brief and awkward exchange took place Saturday night between teammates Nick Lamb and Ginny Klinesteker, prompting standers-by to remark on the event, just one day before Aventinus’s thrilling shootout victory (3-2). The event took place at DTE…
Defenseman Sets Back US-Canadian Relations Several Weeks
ANN ARBOR– Defenseman Mark Woods inadvertently set back US-Canadian relations by several weeks with an errant comment following a check that sent him to the ice, hitting his head in Ruination’s 6-1 win over Depot Town Stags Tuesday night. “All…
AshleysGate Exposed!
ANN ARBOR– In a shocking development early Monday, reports claim the Ashley’s Ruination-Hopslam rivalry game was in fact a staged marketing ploy from none other than the Anheuser-Busch Brewing Company and the Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar. Emails thought…
Alternate Universe Mark Woods Yells to Victory
ANN ARBOR– Characterized by his alternate universe goatee, evil Mark Woods reportedly appeared in this universe while good Mark Woods was simultaneously transported to the alternate (re: evil) universe. With the only noticeable difference being the extra yelling, teammates could only…
Message Sent Lao and Clear
MANILA– A blockbuster deal was signed, sealed, and delivered late Tuesday night following Hopslam’s loss to Cubs AC, dealing winger Kevin Lao to Fightin’ Lip-Syncers of the Manila Vanilla Hockey League (MVHL). Sources say this move was sent as a…