LAS VEGAS– Goaltender Chris Sutton was dealt back to Aventinus after a blockbuster trade involving two future D2 picks, and a puck-shaped beer cooler after officials for the Las Vegas Ramblin’ Gamblers of the Booking & Hooking League (BHL) said…
Author: ashleyadmin
Prohibition Sweeps Across Beer League
ANN ARBOR– Conservative groups cheered as the United Beer League Association (UBLA) passed into law as part of the Hockey Constitution an amendment prohibiting the “consumption of wine and spirits, beer and any curious liquors” for “medicinal, recreational, or any other…
Memory Lane Strolled
ANN ARBOR– The ghost of championships past swirled in the locker room upon seeing winger John Hwang’s championship softball t-shirt commemorating his team’s 2014 Summer campaign, following Aventinus’s 2-1 comeback win Wednesday night. “I won a softball championship playing Intramural…
Hip Hop Roots Revealed
OSCODA– Once the ice shavings settled, Aventinus found itself handed its third straight loss, falling 1-3 to North Coast. Scott Bray had the lone goal, with assists from Les Withrow and defenseman Mark Woods. “We’re still looking for answers,” said…
Ricky Rejoins Boy Band
ANN ARBOR– Following Ruination’s 2-2 tie with the Depot Town Stags, pop artist Ricky Winowiecki announced his triumphant return to the boy band sensation One Direliction. “Oy! We’re super excited to ‘ave the ‘ol boy back i’ the band,” said…
Johnson Tends to Win, No Ifs, Ands, or Butts
ANN ARBOR– Brad Johnson earned a 4-2 victory in net Tuesday night as Hopslam defeated franchise rival Yaks. David Gaydos scored three goals, while Jeff Phillion added another. Andrew Thompson added three assists, and Ryan Williams had two helpers in…
WT Killer Bees Missing F in Name
ANN ARBOR– Following the 2-3 loss to the WT Killer Bees, Aventinus found themselves exasperated by WT Killer Bees, as Connor Gilligan easily sailed past everyone on route to scoring the game-winning goal. “Wednesday, Thursday, Friday!” exclaimed several players, abbreviating…